Stumbling Out of the Box, by Andrew Joppa

Stumbling Out of The Box

by Andy Joppa


There are many issues that would benefit by discussion, any discussion, but dedicating a full essay to each would take too long. So, here are a few of the many ideas swirling in my mind. I’m sure you have a few of your own. Each will, hopefully, contribute its own weight of “logic” to the general illogicality of America. Perhaps if we become more committed to logic…or at least making an attempt…it will simply force the absurdity out of the system.


None of these ideas accepts the prevailing viewpoint. Viewpoints “prevail” for many reasons…the least significant of which is that they are superior in comparison to other viewpoints in that same area. They exist because they’ve always existed; or they exist because someone or some group gains from their illogicality, or they exist because no one has taken a moment to even think about it.  This last point is probably the most telling…no one has cared enough to even think about them. You would presume with 535 members of Congress that there would occasionally be some creative break-throughs.


Let’s just try a few and see whether America’s intellectual rigidity can be moved off zero.


Marriage isn’t a right…it’s an obligation- Now, this is a bit complicated. First and foremost, legal marriage was not created so that two people in love can express their eternal devotion…or at least till they divorce.  Trust me…the government couldn’t care less about love. You incur the obligation to marry if you want to access any government benefits associated with marriage. In the meantime, no one prevents any two people from living together and simply saying they’re married. Just go for it.  However, the benefits were created as an inducement to accept the obligation to protect children and, as a derivative, society.  Since there is only a male/female reproductive potential, the government has imposed on that union the legal obligation to marry; the child’s parents, and responsibility for a child, had to be legally documented and insured.  So, legal marriage was not created so two people could pledge to each other their undying love…but exclusively as an obligatory choice, imposed on a male /female couple, for the protection of both child and society if they want to receive the “reward” that is offered for making this society generated commitment. No other union but a male/female coupling needs this inducement to document their relationship and no other type of union should generate the benefits of a legal marriage.

But, Tom and John or Mary and Sally, if you want to live together and say your married…don’t let anyone stand in your way. I’m rooting for your happiness. Just do it.  Sorry… happiness will be your only reward.


Each of us is a different s*x…so, only a “member” separates us- This is somewhat in keeping with my first brilliant insight.Why stop with the hundred or so currently identified categories of s*xual identity?  Why not have 7 billion different categories?  Each would recognize the unique s*xual preferences and fulfillment choices made by every human being. For example: a specific biologic male might be defined as, “A blond attracted, monogamous, Ford, backseat… gender.” Now, with 7 billion different s*xes, we will still need some way of allocating bathroom space and whether there should be a lady’s night…or other critical issues of that nature.   I, therefore, offer a radical solution.  Simply, we divide the sexes up into those with a “member” and those without.  Wait…that seems to have a vaguely familiar sound to it.


Every illegal vote, different than mine, disenfranchises me– If I vote for candidate A and an illegal vote is cast for candidate B, I have been disenfranchised.  I have effectively been denied my right to have my vote count. Therefore, the government’s primary obligation is to insure no illegal votes are cast and it is only a secondary purpose that there be “ease” of voting which tends to create more opportunity for illegal votes to be cast. Of course, that is generally their intent.


There is no national popular vote for president- Simply, for those who claim that Hillary Clinton won the national popular vote…there was no national popular vote, so it could not be “won.”    This is like suggesting a baseball club won the game because they had the most hits.  Sorry, that is not a category that defines winning or losing.  No campaigning was done in the big city socialist strongholds and a pure vote total for president would have been foreign to the intent or desire of the founders. Those demanding majority rule would have to be in direct conflict with our Constitution and the logic that created it.  Why do we hear America referred to so frequently as a democracy? We are certainly not that.  I’ll say it… we are, thank God, not a democracy.


Why no flat tax? The biggest reason we don’t have a flat tax is that politicians gain power by manipulating the tax codes.  The current system is also so confusing that few truly understand how much of their income goes to various levels of government…providing additional mechanisms to sneak a tax increase by you.   So, lets dump the current tax codes…chisel out the first $40,000 of income where no one would pay anything, and then tax the rest at 15% (or whatever).  You can end the confusion and fire most of the IRS (which is a huge barrier).  There are also tens of thousands of additional jobs that require a complex tax code…tax accountants for example…they’re gone.  Sorry, but there also use to be a lot of farmers.  A price must be paid for progress.  But the biggest barrier to a flat tax is it isn’t progressive… and, therefore, doesn’t satisfy the emotional whiny needs of Americans who are driven by envy, resentment and jealousy.  Would it be better than the current system? Of course, but that isn’t a difficult standard to improve on.


Why is personal behavior never the problem? –  Why aren’t personal behavioral choices ever cited as the cause of anyone’s problems?  I can’t remember the last time I heard personal behavior listed as a cause of homelessness, poverty or unemployment.  It’s always somebody did something to them.  Someone got in the way of their push for success.  No one is just lazy or couldn’t give a damn about their own lives or has preferred drinking beer to going to some college classes.  It’s almost gotten to the point where it’s insensitive to consider that an individual has anything to do with outcome of their own life.


If there is no conviction then the federal government should pay the legal bills-The federal government, through a myriad of its agencies, can destroy a life merely by bringing legal challenges against any political enemy. The legal bills can be so enormous that even if the legal challenge proves to be spurious the person’s life is over.  This is certainly more devious power than should be given to anyone in Washington.  Therefore, if the underlying charge is not proven…then WE must pay the legal freight. The accused must be made whole.


What if the FBI lies to us?- Since it’s apparently a big deal if someone lies to the FBI…or is seduced into a lie by near FBI entrapment, what should happen to a member of the FBI who  lies to the American people or lies in testimony to Congress?  It would seem on balance…they should be executed.  OK, that may be too extreme, but their penalty should be far more dramatic than those who lie to them.


If you need illegals you don’t have a business- Many cite the importance of using illegal labor to support the necessities of their industry.  Well, if that’s the case, you don’t have an industry. They lament, “Who will harvest our lettuce, if illegals aren’t used?” I would suggest that you just keep raising the wages of lettuce pickers until you reach a point where new college graduates are begging for lettuce picking jobs. Or, as the alternative, you develop lettuce picking technology that by-passes human labor.


You can’t have Guest Labor Programs and Birth Right citizenship: If both concepts exist simultaneously then every guest worker pregnancy will be dropped on American soil, thus making that child an American citizen and its parents, essentially, not deportable.  One or the other can’t exist.  I voted for Birth Right Citizenship.


Reparations:  I’m for reparations. I am a big supporter of every former slave receiving reparations.  I would even go as far as saying that every child of a former slave should receive reparations.  How much more enlightened can I be?


Great military men are not strategic thinkers– Military leadership and training pertains to tactics, not strategies.  Strategically, they may show no greater competency than a golf caddy.  Don’t put ex-military in strategic positions.


Attritional Cutbacks for Federal Government- This is the only real method that can be used to bring down the size of government, cut down on the deficit and debt and minimize the absurd level of redundancy in the beltway.  Don’t replace who leaves for any reason with… anyone.  If you do need someone get them from another part of the bureaucracy. OK…tell me why not.


Government Unions are absurd and probably illegal- Simply, since every government employee voted for those that created or manage their positions (or someone appointed by someone they voted for), any union action is therefore negotiating with “itself.”  This allows these workers to vote and then challenge the results of that vote through negotiation. Somewhat like giving them a double franchise. They were resisted for most of American history, including FDR, and didn’t gain traction till the Blue Liberal Wave hit America.


OK…that’s enough.  I hope I took you away for a while from the incessant redundancy of America’s typical debates…” a sound and a fury signifying

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